Dr. J had to DIE!
by hypergirl
Summary: Supposed to be funny... Stars Duo and Heero. Song fic, sorta to 'Earl Had to Die'


Dr. J Had To DIE!  
  
By: hypergirl  
I got this idea from the Dixie Chicks 'Earl Had to Die'. I changed some of the words and got my  
  
first song fic, sorta. Anything that isn't part of the song is in this '' OOC! Beware! Enjoy!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own the Gundum Boys or the song.  
  
Dr. J Had To DIE!  
  
Duo and Heero were the best of friends, all through the long, long war. Both gundum pilots, both trained to  
  
kill any day. After graduation Duo went out, looking for another job. Heero went back to his old ways   
  
and got stuck with Dr. J. Well, It wasn't two weeks after he went back that Heero started getting abused.   
  
He wore turtlenecks and sunglasses and blue jeans to cover the bruise.   
  
  
'See Heero in the aforementioned things and looking nervous as Dr. J enters the house where   
  
Heero is staying. Dr. J gets a video tape and puts it into the tape player. Heero screams and starts begging   
  
as Dr. J ties him up and forces him to watch a Teletubbie marathon.'  
  
  
Well, he finally got the nerve to run away he hitchhiked to L2 , but Dr. J tracked him down and put him in   
  
intensive care.   
  
  
'See Heero sneaking onto a shuttle in a blue suit. Then show Dr. J on a computer. Dr. J smiles   
  
triumphantly and leaves the room, tripping in some jeans on the way out.'  
  
Right away Duo flew down in from L4 on a red-eye midnight flight.   
  
  
'Duo on a late night flight looking pissed.'  
  
  
Well Duo held Heero's hand and they worked out a plan and it didn't take them long to decide… that Dr. J   
  
had to die!  
  
  
'Duo and Heero planning with lots of complicated looking charts sprawled across Heero's hospital  
  
bed. A close up of one shows a game of tic-tac-toe, O`s won. After hours of debating, and playing their   
  
game, they agree and smile evilly.'   
  
Good bye Dr. J. Those black eyed peas, they tasted alright to meeee Dr. J. You feeling weak? Why don't   
  
you lay down to sleeeep Dr. J? Ain't it dark, wrapped up in that taaaarrp Dr. J?   
  
  
'Heero cooking for Dr. J. Dr. J samples some and falls to the ground choking and gagging.   
  
Heero looks stumped for a moment, then pours some water on Dr. J. He wakes up and grabs the phone to   
  
order Chinese food. He then steers Heero out of the kitchen. Dr. J makes some peas and the delivery guy   
  
rings the doorbell. While Dr. J is talking to the delivery boy, Heero slips some rat killing tablets into his  
  
peas. Dr. J comes back and takes a huge bite of the peas. Heero smiles as Dr. J passes out and dies.'  
  
  
The cops came by to bring Dr. J in and they searched Heero's house high and low then they shrugged their   
  
shoulders and said thank you young men, if you hear from him let us know.   
  
  
'See Heero and Duo sitting innocently outside, playing a game of chess as two cops comes up.   
  
Duo points to the house as the police question them. The cops go into the house and come out a few   
  
minuets later saying that they couldn't find him where the two had locked him up. The door had been   
  
busted off the hinges'  
  
  
Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer and summer faded into fall. and it turns out Dr. J was   
  
a missing person who nobody missed at all. So the boys bought some land at a roadside stand out on   
  
highway 109 they sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam and don't lose any sleep at night. Cause Dr. J had   
  
to die.   
  
  
'Show Duo and Heero on the side of the road selling things. Then switch to a pic of Heero  
  
smiling in his sleep. Then to Duo looking much the same.'  
  
  
Good-byyye Dr. J We need a break, let's go out to the laaake Dr. J. We'll pack a lunch and stuff   
  
you in the truuuuunk Dr. J. Lets have a ride, good lets go for a ride Dr. J Hey!   
  
  
'Heero and Duo picnicking beside a lake. Then to the trunk of a green Saturn where we see Dr. J  
  
dead and being attacked by a spider. Show them later, just driving around. Duo blows a bubble and it gets   
  
all over Heero who glares at his friend. Close with Dr. J falling out of the trunk and getting run over by a   
  
18 wheeler.'  
  
  
Hypergirl: Humor is not my forte… Tell me if you think it was any good!  



End file.
